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A Parent’s Educational Responsibility
by Rexanne Mancini

While academic education is vital to our children’s well-being and they will learn basic academics in school, we, as parents, have the ultimate responsibility of educating our children in the ways of the world. It is our duty to instill morality, ethics and values in our kids.

While no two people on the planet will have the exact same answers to many of life’s dilemmas, we can only offer children our own example.  Our background, experiences and our own education will play an important part in what we choose to teach our kids and what they will learn from us by observation and example. I know we all want the best for our babies … we want them to be happy, find a career they love, a mate who loves them as much as we do, and to basically have a good life. And so what do we teach them about life that will ultimately be their best defense against the hardships they will no doubt encounter and to appreciate and value the blessings they find?

I have tried to teach my daughters to have loving hearts, to be kind and gentle with all living beings and things. I have also taught them to fight back, kick anyone’s butt who is trying to intentionally hurt them whether physically, verbally or emotionally and to help a fellow being less fortunate. You know … the basics. ;-) “Do Unto Others” is a motto to live by. I don’t know of one religion or philosophy that contradicts this most important truism.

Know that our children are watching every move we make and absorbing life lessons by the way we, as their ultimate role models, deal with what life throws at us. If we’re having a bad day and decide that kicking the dog is a good way to burn off stress, our children will learn that it’s OK to abuse small animals and consequently, learn to abuse anyone or anything less powerful or less strong. If we fess up to having had a bad day and ask for a hug, a little understanding and peace, they will learn that asking to have their needs met is as valid as meeting the needs of others and that bad days happen but how we cope with them is what matters most.

Teaching our children to love themselves is an important step in the process. If they walk through life with self respect and do not allow others to disrupt their well-being, they will have a vital weapon within their makeup to overcome life's hurdles. This does not mean we should teach our children to negate the feelings or well-being of others or that they are omnipotent and better than anyone else. This should actually teach them that respecting others as they respect themselves is a necessary part of the game. Showing your child love and consideration will go a long way in helping him/her feel lovable and worthy of respect.

We are also the guardians of our children’s spiritual and philosophical makeup. It is parents who instill spiritual principles in children, as much as any church or religious council. If we negate this responsibility, our children will learn spiritual identity from others because spiritual beliefs are an integral quest in life.  Spiritual beliefs do not need to be a strict set of practices or dogmas issued by a church or organized religion. They can be any set of rules and values to live and make choices by.

Children do not normally come with a set of beliefs about life and life’s meaning. They are conditioned and exposed to these principles by their parents and family. They will also learn to question and judge life and esoteric ideas by experience.  If your teenager comes home one day with a shaved head and scary tattoos on his/her body as the result of having joined a cult or other group that convinces your child that this is the way to salvation, immortality or any other philosophical ideal, who are you going to blame? If you have exposed your child to your own spiritual or philosophical practices and beliefs, your child will more than likely hold these beliefs as evident truths and will not feel the need to seek answers from anywhere else possibly less in tune to your liking. Essentially, you are building you’re child’s foundation for when those blow-you-down moments happen, instilling strong roots to support them in crisis and confusion.

What other important lessons can we teach our children?

Consider the way we treat our parents. If it is with loving kindness and compassion, your children will learn to treat you the same. If you treat the homeless man at the market with disdain and intolerance, your children will learn to treat homeless and other less fortunate individuals without compassion. 

We are the greatest examples in our children’s lives. If you value kindness and gentleness in others, you will most likely raise kind and gentle children. If you value resourcefulness and financial responsibility, you will most likely teach these qualities to your child who will, in turn, become resourceful and financially responsible because that’s “just what we do.”

If we teach our children to see the world in a positive, friendly light, they will have a vital weapon within their makeup to overcome life's hurdles. If we teach our children that life is unfair, cruel and that obstacles are insurmountable, they will learn to see negativity and pain in everyday challenges instead of learning to believe they can overcome whatever life dishes out with positive actions and thought and they will embrace joy instead of dread.

There are so many lessons we teach our children. Take this responsibility seriously and think about who you would like to see your children become. This can be especially important with children who are raised under less than ideal circumstances. Consider the stories of many idols in our world … quite a few have come from financially unstable and less than perfect homes. Frequently, they have a story of a parent or grandparent who took responsibility for this child seriously and instilled self respect, strong morals and values enough to help this person become the success he/she is today. 

School will teach our children academics … we need to teach them morality and values.  If you don’t have a handle on your own, try to learn and grow with your children. Consider what you feel is important in life and what you hold dear. Know that our children will learn these lessons from us and become the adults we create.  They are our gift to the world – let’s make it a great gift!

Copyright – 2006 - Rexanne Mancini

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Rexanne Mancini is the mother of two daughters, Justice and Liberty. She is a novelist, freelance writer and maintains an extensive yet informal parenting and family web site, Rexanne.com – http://www.rexanne.com -Visit her site for good advice, award-winning Internet holiday pages and some humor to help you cope. Subscribe to her free newsletter, Rexanne’s Web Review, for a monthly dose of Rexanne: http://www.rexanne.com/rwr-archives.html

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