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Grieving Children
By Rexanne
Mancini
While it is my belief that
death is just one more experience to seek growth and soul development
in our current physical forms, losing a loved one is never easy. Our
family has experienced its fair share of grief in the past few years.
We’ve lost my sister-in-law (my daughters’ aunt), a beloved uncle
and a cherished pet, to name just a few.
I try to reassure my
daughters that a loved one who has moved on is safe and happy,
however, we still need to grieve and accept the inevitable feelings of
loss and sadness. Loved ones will be missed.
Opportunities to share life and experiences will have been cut
short. They know that
it’s OK to feel sad and to cry. As soon as possible after the
initial shock and sadness over losing a cherished one has passed, I
try to bring happy memories of the person back into our lives. It’s
important to remember the love and lessons we’ve learned from them
with joy in our hearts and with respect for the time we’ve had to
share our lives in their company.
I tell my daughters that
they can talk to the person who has passed on any time they feel like
it. That person will now always be available to listen. We will still
feel love for our missed relative or pet and we include the departed
soul in our prayers until it feels right to let them go. We ask that
they are well taken care of and loved as much as we love them. This
helps ease their anxiety of the unknown and allows them to feel that
their loved one is in some way protected from whatever they might
imagine exists “out there.”
I’m sure, among our
readers, religious and spiritual beliefs are many and varied. It is
our responsibility to help our children understand that the unknown is
not a scary place and to feel secure in life’s mysteries. Even if
you feel there is “nothing” after this life, children will benefit
by assurances that they and their loved ones have a purpose for being.
As parents, we will be
challenged to guide our kids through a myriad of life’s ups and
downs. If we respect their limited understanding of the issues and
guide their thoughts with a loving heart and acceptance of each aspect
of life, no matter how difficult, we’ve done the best we can under
sometimes-extreme circumstances.
Copyright
– 2000-2004 – Rexanne Mancini
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Rexanne
Mancini is the mother of two daughters, Justice and Liberty. She is a
novelist, freelance writer and maintains an extensive yet informal
parenting and family web site, Rexanne.com – http://www.rexanne.com
-Visit her site for good advice, award-winning Internet holiday pages
and some humor to help you cope. Subscribe to her free newsletter,
Rexanne’s Web Review, for a monthly dose of Rexanne: http://www.rexanne.com/rwr-archives.html
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