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Spotlight on: Thanksgiving
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Teaching
Children Good Manners
Last
week in my newsletter, I mentioned that my children knew how to behave
in nice restaurants because they had been exposed to the atmosphere at
an early age. My idea of well behaved might be different from yours,
however, I think there are certain basics that are important and
universal. When
my daughters were babies, we would take them wherever we went. If they
began to fuss or cry, one of us would promptly remove them from the
room/restaurant/market/wherever. Not because we felt their crying or
fussing was a bad thing. No, it's a perfectly normal occurrence for
infants and toddlers. We removed them as a courtesy to others who we
felt did not need to be as tolerant as we were with our children's
noise. In consequence, my daughters know that other people are not as
wildly in love with their racket or with them as we are. Nor should
they be expected to be. As
our children grew older, they were always told the rules of our
outings, how to behave and to always speak softly if other adults were
present. Sometimes, it's fine to let them get a little crazy ... just
know your audience! If we are at a five star restaurant where many
other diners have come to enjoy a gracious and expensive meal, would
we expect everyone there to be enthralled with junior's vocal or
behavioral outbursts? Would we really expect them to care if our child
is having a bout with walking pneumonia and coughing uncontrollably?
Nope. It's rude. And rudeness is basically nothing more than bad
manners. If there is an emergency with your child, by all means don't
give a flying flamingo about what others think. But this is the
exception. Besides, children who are that sick belong at home,
not in public. Last
night, my girls and I were in a department store. There was a toddler
carrying on and screaming for more than 15 minutes when my younger
daughter said: "Now
his mommy is going to tell him to stop because there are other people
in here that don't want to hear it!" Unfortunately,
his mommy did not tell him any such thing. She let him wail and scream
and cry, much to the chagrin and annoyance of everyone else in the
store. You know what? As much as I love kids and cannot bear to see or
hear them suffering, I disliked this kid immensely! My
reasoning is this: if our kids learn that they are free to trample on
the peace, space or rose gardens of others, they will develop into
spoiled and inconsiderate brats. And then who will like them? Who will
want to spend time with them? Who, besides their forgiving parents,
will be able to tolerate their lack of social graces and good manners?
No one … except maybe another ill-mannered person who feels at home
with a similarly clueless individual.
Do we really want our children reduced to such horrible
options? I think not. We
teach our children not to steal, lie or punch their brother in the
nose. Shouldn't we teach them respect for others at the same time?
That their whining and out-of-control behavior is something no one
really wants to hear or witness, especially strangers who have no
vested interest in their developing minds or self Good luck. Kids need to learn manners and social graces. They will go farther in life if we teach them well.
Copyright – 2000-2004- Rexanne Mancini
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Rexanne
Mancini is the mother of two daughters, Justice and Liberty. She is a
novelist, freelance writer and maintains an extensive yet informal
parenting and family web site, Rexanne.com – http://www.rexanne.com
-Visit her site for good advice, award-winning Internet holiday pages
and some humor to help you cope. Subscribe to her free newsletter,
Rexanne’s Web Review, for a monthly dose of Rexanne: http://www.rexanne.com/rwr-archives.html
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This article is available, free, for reprint with my bio line included. Please contact me for information on how you can feature this article on your web site: Click here: Reprint Permission |
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