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Routines and Schedules for Children
by Rexanne Mancini

Children need and crave routine. Routine helps establish security and peace in a child’s life. A bedtime routine will establish good sleeping patterns. A dinnertime routine establishes the importance of family interaction, homework schedules will help your child get their homework done on time and with little fuss.  

Routines are an ideal way to keep your family and children calm, secure and at ease with life’s variables.

Children will thrive with schedules that are easy to understand and accomplish, yet flexible enough to change if circumstances warrant. We do not want to rule our families with an iron fist, adhering to “the schedule” without compromise; however, good routines will keep your family organized and will establish an environment of tranquility for all family members.

Babies especially thrive on routine. They will become secure and happy with strict adherence to their daily feeding and sleeping schedules, which are, ultimately, their most important routines.  

Little children need routines and schedules in order to learn how to manage their time and attention. When they know what we expect of them, they learn to comply with the rules without question. This allows children to feel more confident by understanding their roles in the family.

Here are some tips for establishing basic family schedules:

Bedtime & Nap Routine Tips:

From the time your child is an infant, you can begin to establish a nap and bedtime routine that will make bedtime a peaceful transition from a busy day.

At a set hour, let your child know that bedtime is approaching. Give him/her at least half an hour warning and set a routine of putting away stray toys, organizing books and school supplies for the morning rush, hanging or folding clothes scattered around, putting shoes away, bath time, pajamas, brushing teeth, etc. This will become second nature to your child, which will establish a healthy, calm bedtime routine.

Clean up should actually be handled well before bedtime. Having a routine for straightening up their messes is a good idea, too. Having a place for everything will help your children know where to toss that stray ball or doll, where to hang their coat, their wet towels, shoes, etc. Wall Hooks, Pegs and racks are an ideal method for keeping children organized and a toy box or toy storage solution is absolutely necessary.

One of the most important bedtime routines in our family has always been story time. When my children were young, I read to them each night after I tucked them into bed. After story time, we said prayers together, we talked about their day and if they had anything they wanted to discuss or ask, this was the time. From the more frantic aspect of clean up to the calming prayers and open discussions, the transition was smooth and relaxing for them.

Naptime routines for younger children can also include a story and snuggle time with a parent or caretaker.  

Dinnertime Routine Tips:

Family dinnertime is one of the most important routines you can establish. Children who eat at least one meal with their families at a specific time each day or night learn the importance of family interaction and camaraderie. Dinnertime routines can integrate peaceful family discussions, allowing each child the opportunity to talk about his/her day, discuss any problems or issues at school, with friends, teachers, etc. It has been established by many mental health experts that children who eat dinner with their families are less likely to fall victim to negative peer pressure. Family time that is sacred, such as the routine of family dinnertime, gives our children interaction with positive and loving role models. It is an ideal time to reinforce family values, ethics and behavioral expectations.

A dinnertime routine can include friends of both parents and children, which will establish positive and happy interaction between all family members and their friends. Parents can help establish a happy, warm dinnertime atmosphere by keeping conversations light, happy and fun. I try to make my children laugh at least once during dinnertime, because, ultimately, I believe life should be fun and happy and that we all need to laugh and smile as often as possible. This doesn't stop me from reminding my kids about table manners and how to eat like ladies, although any instruction is done with gentle and kind guidance. Harsh reminders of manners usually don't work. "Sweetie, chewing with your mouth open makes you look like a farm animal" gets the point across with a little humor and your children will be more inclined to listen to what you have to say if you speak to them with respect and on a level they can understand.

Dinnertime routines can also establish good chore habits in our children. When they are old enough, give them a responsibility to help with family dinnertime. A toddler would love to help place napkins at each place setting, at about age 3, a child can help clear the table and older children can learn to set the table, help with clean up and learn to cook or arrange simple side dishes.

Homework Routine Tips:

Homework is, to most children, a nasty and necessary part of life that can become easy to neglect and avoid. While we might sympathize with their plight, our kids need to understand that homework is an integral part of their school curriculum and there’s no getting out of it.

Establishing a sound homework routine from their earliest school years will help children stay organized and on top of homework through to their college years.

Some families find it easier to set a routine of doing homework as soon as children come home from school. My children are allowed an hour after school to relax and chill out before starting their homework, which gives them a good head start or, if it’s a light homework night, to finish and be done with it. They break for dinner and finish whatever homework remains before they are free to do as they please before bedtime and getting homework done has never been a problem for us.

Children absolutely need a workspace to establish a healthy homework routine. A children's desk in their room or a family work desk in the living room or den is an ideal environment to organize their pencils, pens, paper, reference books, etc. If a desk is not available, create a designated homework space where they have room to spread out their books and necessary homework supplies, on either the dining room table or a suitable table in a quiet room away from televisions and any other distractions.

Morning Routine Tips:

Probably the most hectic time in a child and parent’s life is the morning rush. Having a morning routine will make the transition from sleep to get-up-and-go easier for you and your children.

As early as possible, children should have an alarm clock to wake them on school days. Otherwise, parents can wake their children gently by rubbing their backs, kissing their cheeks and generally setting a precedent for calmness and kindness throughout their day. While a parent is fixing breakfast, the child can get his/her teeth brushed, hair combed, school clothes, shoes and socks on and gather books, back packs and homework.

Sitting down for breakfast with at least 15 minutes to spare will help everyone be less stressed and able to eat a healthy breakfast. If your children are not hungry in the morning, please do not force them to eat a big breakfast. Some kids need to be conditioned to eat breakfast and some kids just will not eat in the morning. It is, by far, healthier for children to eat breakfast if only a piece of fruit or a cup of yoghurt. If kids are not stressed and running around trying to gather all their school necessities, they will be more inclined to sit, relax and eat breakfast. Waking at least an hour before it’s time to leave for school will help them. Having school supplies and necessities ready, in their backpacks and placed by the door the night before is ideal.

Courtesy & Manners Routine Tips:

Establishing routines and schedules can be applied to many aspects of our children’s lives, including sending thank you cards for birthday and holiday presents, phone calls or thank you notes in appreciation for favors or a kindness by a teacher, friend or grandparent, etc.

Thank You Cards:

Thank you cards ideally should be sent within 2 weeks after receiving a gift. Establishing a routine of buying thank you cards at the same time as birthday party invitations is a good way to have the necessary cards and envelopes available when needed. Personalized stationery for kids is another excellent way to establish the habit and importance of sending thank you notes for any occasion.

Parents can be ready with paper and pen to register birthday gifts and givers and children can use the list as a thank you card guide.

Parents will need to send thank you notes for their children until kids are able do it themselves.

When children are old enough to write words or small sentences, make it easy for them by having thank you cards where they just need to write the gift in a designated space and sign their name. Older children can write their own thank you cards with a helpful template that can be copied and personalized for each giver and gift. 

Incorporating family routines, such as watching a particular television show the whole family enjoys once a week, church on Sunday morning, visiting or inviting Grandparents for holidays, birthday celebrations and any other routines your family loves become tradition, create positive, stable family memories, and make life easier to manage for everyone. Learning to schedule time, be organized and create routine will serve children well for when they are on their own and need to manage their lives, jobs and responsibilities.

© Rexanne Mancini - 2007

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Rexanne Mancini is the mother of two daughters, Justice and Liberty. She is a novelist, freelance writer and maintains an extensive yet informal parenting and family web site, Rexanne.com – http://www.rexanne.com -Visit her site for good advice, award-winning Internet holiday pages and some humor to help you cope. Subscribe to her free newsletter, Rexanne’s Web Review, for a monthly dose of Rexanne: http://www.rexanne.com/rwr-archives.html

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