Rexanne's Web Review - Issue #16

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Hoo doggie ... received a few good letters about letting babies run wild and naked. Lots of good points brought up and I'll share some with you all in Reader's Comments.

Of course, we need to exercise good judgment when playing nature babies. If our little ones being naked is offensive or otherwise unsanitary, well, by all means cover those little behinds! ;-)

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"The only reason that I could think of clothing a child in public unfortunately would be because of perverts. There are too many child molesters out there that would get their "kicks" by seeing that dear child running free. Don't get me wrong, since we moved out to the country, my son thinks he has a chance to live as a nudist now. LOL It seems like I can never keep clothes on him."

Quite the sad state of affairs when we have to worry about evil people lurking around every corner but I agree. I suppose "know your audience" would apply here, huh? Thanks for your input, Deneen!

"It's great that kids are allowed to run naked and not to make them be ashamed of their bodies. But, I don't think it's right to let them get into a pool naked when there is danger of them pooping in it. It's gross ... from my experience. I think that in a pool where there are many other users the kids should wear some kind of bathing suit or swimming diaper."

OK, well, yes ... this is a very good point, Klara! I don't suppose there are many of us around (baby-lovers or not!) who would appreciate baby poop floating in our pool water! LOL! Seems like an issue of basic good manners. Thank you for pointing this out, Klara!

"Rexanne, I really appreciated this piece. As I read it, I flashed back to age 10 or so when I helped my dad lay flooring in the attic. A big boy's job done to help my dad. You're correct of course. We sons try to emulate our fathers. They teach us strength, courage and persistence in the face of unpleasant tasks. My dad is my hero, pure and simple."

Quote of the Week: "Grown men can learn from very little children, for the hearts of little children are pure. Therefore, the Great Spirit may show to them many things which older people miss." (Black Elk)

Last week I ranted about allowing babies and toddlers their physical freedom from clothing. I also *promised* that this week we'd discuss children's sexuality. Some folks just wouldn't dream of slicing open this can of worms in a newsletter ... I have never shied away from controversy ... why stop now?! ;-)

We are all born as sexual beings. It's part of our anatomy, our emotional and mental make-up. Whether we are acting upon our sexual drive at any given moment is beside the point. I think it's important to realize that children have sexual feelings, just not as developed as adult feelings. Whether these instincts remain healthy is quite another story. As parents, I believe we need to instill a healthy outlook in our kids about sex and their imminent sexuality.

The first inkling we have of our little ones being sexual is their first attempts at masturbation. This could take any form you can imagine but most parents notice, at about 10 months of age and maybe even younger, our babies discover their genitals. Eureka! A new toy! LOL! Hopefully, we won't freak out about it. It is, after all, their toy! This is their body and it is their innocent need to discover how it functions, feels and reacts. There have been countless studies and articles written about masturbation. Clearly, it is a healthy form of sexual exploration and usually begins in early childhood. So, that said, let's think about how we, as parents, can deal with this sometimes embarrassing issue.

Personally, it never bothered me when my toddlers began exploring their bodies. I'd gently point out that it wasn't appropriate to do in front of most people and certainly not at the dinner table but other than that, the issue was never really an ... issue.

I have witnessed other parents go through a variety of reactions to their baby's or toddler's wandering hands, from actually hitting a child for innocently touching their genitals to a mortified: "How COULD you?!" Gee, how could they NOT? Come on ... they're babies, they're exploring the world and themselves. Where is the shame, guilt or horror in this? In parent's and other adult minds, that's where. How on earth would a baby or young toddler assume that touching a part of their being is BAD, EVIL, SHAMEFUL or HUMILIATING unless their significant care taker TELLS them so, whether in words, actions or obvious distress with the situation?

This brings us to the probable conclusion that our kids will grow into adults feeling ashamed, guilty and weird about their sexuality if we, as their predominant instructors of life, teach them to feel bad about their natural curiosity.

I certainly understand that some adults are just not comfortable with this parenting issue or, down the line, discussing sex in a logical, rational way with their questioning adolescents. Maybe a good plan would be to enlist the help and guidance of a trusted family member or even the child's pediatrician. Better yet, parents who feel uncomfortable should discuss this with their own doctor, trusted friend or family member and then have a back up plan to deal with it when arises, which it most definitely will.

Here's an excellent article about children's sexuality and what to expect, divided by age groups: Sexual Exploration

Here's a good, informative article on how to explain sex to your pre-teen child: Explaining Sex

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Rexanne Mancini is the mother of two daughters, Justice and Liberty. She is a novelist, freelance writer and maintains an extensive yet informal parenting and family web site, Rexanne.com – http://www.rexanne.com -Visit her site for good advice, award-winning Internet holiday pages and some humor to help you cope. Subscribe to her free newsletter, Rexanne’s Web Review, for a monthly dose of Rexanne: http://www.rexanne.com/rwr-archives.html

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This article is available for reprint at no charge providing the resource box with the writer's information is included and remains intact.

As always, reader comments are gratefully acknowledged, appreciated and a good way to express an opinion. Your comments might even end up as Reader's Comments in a future newsletter!

Vernalisa is just adorable! Her site is pretty spectacular, too, with amazing recipes, decorating ideas from birthdays to Christmas, party tips, tricks and some super links.

Vernalisa has years of experience, catering to the rich and famous in our midst so she knows her stuff. You will find easy recipes and more difficult ones but all look scrumptious and worth a look.

And wonder of wonders ... Martha the "get in and out of the kitchen quick" queen has proven herself worthy of even more accolades ... yet another page: Even More Summer Catch All Loads of delicious, easy recipes, hints, tricks and Martha's trademark wittier-than-possible editorial.

Reader Kitty suggested I mention Billy Bear's Site as the Kid's link of the week. As much as Billy Bear's has been around forever, it still merits a great big hoorah for content, user-friendliness and downright fun.

Kids can send an online postcard for any occasion, play great online games, find lots of adorable clip art for projects or web sites, find a super story to read and interact with, desktop screen savers and designs and have fun with all sorts of cute Billy Bear animals.

Time to think about keeping those nasty flies out of the house and away from the picnic tables, huh?

Plant basil around your back and front doors, if you can. Evidently flies don't like it! (Their loss ... ) Also, Nonna Christina used to pick basil leaves and spread them on the tables outside if we were doing garden meals. I have never tried this one, guys and don't remember if it works! LOL!

We are condo-bound and don't do outdoor munching but I am planning on buying basil to grow on the terrace this summer. Now all I have to do is convince my kids they love pesto sauce! ;-)

Got a tip or trick your fellow readers would enjoy or could use? Please send it here for possible publication in one of the next issues: Tips

Time to fire up that printer and make a bunch of these nifty baby sitter check lists. I made a file for them and keep a stack on hand. Another really good idea (yep, I DO get 'em every now and again!) is to copy/paste the whole check list into a Word document and fill in the pertinent information, then print them out.

These baby sitter check lists are a very important reminder that we need to leave clear and simple instructions for anyone watching our kids when we are not there.

One item I think would make this check list perfect is a medical release for the baby sitter. If something life-threatening happens to your child, you would most likely want the baby sitter to give permission to medical personnel to treat your kid. I add this medical release at the bottom of the page in my Word document. A simple: "I, (your name), give (baby sitter's name) permission to authorize emergency medical treatment for my child, (child's name)" works well. You could customize this list in a Word document any way you wish.

Weekly Time Waster: Master Mind
(Because life is supposed to be fun!)

Ready for a challenge? Mastermind is an awesome game. Forces you to actually think! If you've never played this mind expander, you'll either love it or hate it! LOL! I consider myself lucky to solve the puzzle on the last move. See if you can figure it out faster.

My niece can solve any Mastermind puzzle in four moves, tops. We threaten to slap her ... ;-)

I don't know if our pregnant readers should go here but any woman who has given birth and any man who has been there with her will crack up over this advice.

I had to make this page after reading it in a newsletter last week. Yeah, shameless plug for my own home page ... what can I say? ;-)

Thank you Elaine for posting this! Gave me another much-needed humor page to add to my site!

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The International Library of Poetry will award 250 prizes totaling $58,000.00 to amateur poets in the coming months. Anyone can enter simply by submitting ONLY ONE original poem, 20 lines or less, any subject, any style. All poets who enter will receive a response concerning their artistry within seven weeks.

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I have personally checked out the links provided here but they could possibly lead you to any number of bizarre and/or offensive sites. Surf at your own risk. The DIRECT links on this page are all family friendly unless stated otherwise. While this newsletter is family friendly, it is not necessarily intended to be read by children. Parents should always monitor their children while they are on the Internet.