Spotlight on: Thanksgiving

Rexanne's Web Review
Web Sites & Insights

Issue #47 - July 1, 2001 

Brought to You By: Rexanne.com

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If you find this newsletter helpful and interesting, please pass it on to another parent and recommend they subscribe, too. Thank you!

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Welcome All Newcomers! 

We are officially into summer. School's out for two and a half L O N G months and Mom gets to sleep in. Ahhhhh bliss. :-) My younger daughter will be going to camp a few days a week and my older daughter to dance and cheer leading classes. While neither will be going away this year, I'm reminded of this joke:

    A counselor was helping his kids put their stuff away on their first morning in summer camp. He was        surprised to see one of the youngsters had an umbrella. 

    The counselor asked, "Why did you bring an umbrella to camp?" 
    
    The kid answered, "Did you ever have a mother?" 

LOL! Yep ... we moms are a breed unto ourselves. For parents sending their kids away to camp for the first time or maybe to visit relatives this summer, know that they'll be just fine without you. They'll be fed, warm enough and supervised. You can fret all you want, it won't help. ;-) When they come home, they'll be noticeably more mature and independent. It will make the next trip away from home easier. I promise. :-)

Happy Independence Day to all my American readers! You'll find a few Fourth of July goodies in this issue. Enjoy them!


Reader's Comments:

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I was beyond flattered to have Boogie Jack feature my Father's Tribute from the last issue of our newsletter in his amazing e-zine, Almost A Newsletter. Here's what he wrote:

"This is an excellent article! I'd like your permission to run it in my next AAN issue. It would be just the 3rd guest article I've ran in AAN in over 3 years, it that's special!"

Thanks again, Booj. My head's still swelled! ;-)

For some of the best HTML tutorials and graphics available online, visit Boogie Jack's super site!

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And new reader Ed wrote:

"I just read your guest article in Boogie Jack's e-zine AAN. I have to say that it truly touched my heart. As a father you made me really tear up. Thank You." 

Ed, your words touched my heart. Welcome and you're welcome! ;-)

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OK, here's the scoop:

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Quote of the Week:  Nothing is more important in the world today than the nurturing that children receive in the first three years of life, for it is in these earliest years that the capacities for trust, empathy, and affection originate. - Dr. Elliott Barker  (Director, Canadian Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children)

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This Week's Web Review is Sponsored by:  Coupon Clearing House

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Parenting & Family Topic of the Week:  Gaining a Child's Trust

Gaining a Child's Trust
By Rexanne Mancini

My daughters and I went to the beach several weeks ago. They were having a blast playing in the freezing water as I tiptoed around the waves, trying to keep my feet from becoming frost bitten. Next to us was a mother with her daughter who was no more than 18 months old. This woman was holding her frightened little girl hostage in the ocean as the bitter cold waves crashed into her and rushed back with a fierce undertow. The poor child was screaming and crying, begging to be rescued from the torture. Her mother thought this was amusing. She laughed at her baby's fear and grinned at everyone around her. I told the mother that I didn't find the situation at all funny. I have no idea if my words had any impact. By then, my own kids had finally remembered they had nerve endings and were shivering uncontrollably, begging for the warmth of their dry towels and sweatshirts. We left the water's edge and the sickening site of mother traumatizing baby. 

Did this mother realize she was probably investing her daughter with an irrational fear of the ocean? I doubt it. 

When I see a parent forcing a child to tolerate something potentially fear inducing, it curdles my blood. This child was frightened and miserable. Her mother was not helping her escape the offensive waves, she was the cause of her child's anguish. Where is the trust in this relationship? Will this little girl grow up believing that her mother will always be there for her or resent her mom for belittling her sensitivities? I think the latter. 

I dread thinking of all the ways this child will, in turn, torture her mother without realizing why. Will she try drugs or alcohol at an early age? Will she indulge in promiscuous sexual behavior at an inappropriate time? Will she be so anesthetized to her self-worth that she drives her first car into a wall at 18? Could be. 

This mother is treating her baby with disrespect at the most basic level. Instinctual fear is not something we should laugh at our toddler for having, thereby teaching her that her feelings and natural fear of big looming ice cold waves or any other potentially frightening fact of life will be dismissed as having no meaning. To this child, mom is saying her whole existence is disdained, her feelings don't count and her mother is NOT there to protect her but to throw her into the pits of hell for her own amusement. 

I've seen this happen at amusement parks, playgrounds and schools. No matter what your child is afraid of, respect his fear, acknowledge his trepidation of the unknown and understand that with compassion and 
tolerance, he will overcome these basic, natural fears with time and maturity. 

You might have a child who embraces adventure and roller coasters with passion or a child who is horrified by a small slide at the park. No matter what you think they should be feeling, they have their own wiring. They're going to move at their own internal pace. Let's respect and honor that pace. This shows our child that we respect and honor him. This sets a healthy foundation for self-esteem and self-respect which are essential character traits so necessary for our children to function at their best in the world. 

The following article points out the relationship between feelings and behavior. You'll have to wade through the beginning to get to the parent/child information, but I do recommend reading the entire page. Feelings & Behavior

This next article speaks volumes about respecting our children in the first few years of their lives: Cruelty or Tenderness

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Rexanne Mancini is the mother of two daughters, Justice and Liberty. She is a novelist, freelance writer and maintains an extensive yet informal parenting and family web site, Rexanne.com – http://www.rexanne.com -Visit her site for good advice, award-winning Internet holiday pages and some humor to help you cope. Subscribe to her free newsletter, Rexanne’s Web Review, for a monthly dose of Rexanne: http://www.rexanne.com/rwr-archives.html

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This article is available for reprint at no charge providing the resource box with the writer's information is included and remains intact. 

Have an opinion about this topic or a story to share? Please send it:  My Opinion

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Food & Cooking Site of the Week:  Chef Andy's Jell-O Pages

Summer heat, Fourth of July picnics, kids home from school for days on end ... it's the perfect time to make Jell-O! Cool and versatile, this concoction will mold to any shaped pan and play host to many different fillings. Just ask Chef Andy, who has made Jell-O molds into creations of art.

Reading the main page of this site could give you the willies. Chef Andy actually explains how Jell-O is created. UHG ... you don't want to know! If you just like knowing the bizarre, go ahead and read it, then 
move on to the amazing collection of recipes for this wiggly, jiggly staple of American family fare. 

Particularly super-sounding recipes include Frosty Strawberry Pie, Jell-O whipped cream and I will definitely play around with the Barvarian dessert recipes. Be sure to check out the Jell-O tips page. Stuff you never knew you needed to know! :-)  Jell-O Pages

Bon Appetit!

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Kid's Site of the Week:  Bizarre Stuff

This should keep the kids busy for a few weeks this summer. ;-) 

Bizarre Stuff is home to those classic, sometimes weird experiments and inventions we were so fascinated with as kids. Remember creating a crystal garden from charcoal or match stick rockets? These experiments haven't lost their appeal over the years, at least not to children. Most adults will probably lose themselves in these amazing pages, too. 

I recommend monitoring younger kids on this site as there are potentially dangerous experiments explained and analyzed. This is a particularly good site for kids interested in science and how stuff works at the most basic level. 

Bizarre stuff is a perfect place to find an unusual and detailed science fair experiment for the Jr. High set. Might want to bookmark this page for the next school year. 

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Tip or Trick of the Week:  Color Coordinating Clothes

Hey, you guys are slacking ... no tips or tricks came in these past two weeks! ;-) No problem. I have a great one that helped me tremendously:

Arrange clothes in your (or your kid's) closets by type first. You know, skirts together, pants, shirts, dresses, etc. When you've got them where you want them, color coordinate them! I've always kept my types in order, however, since learning to keep them color coordinated as well, it makes deciding what to wear so much easier. There are just so many colors that go together which will send you to the appropriate area of your closet and save a lot of hassle on busy mornings. Teaching your kids to color coordinate their closets and drawers will make their lives easier, too. 


Got a tip or trick your fellow readers would enjoy or could use? Please send it here for possible publication in one of the next issues: Tips

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Freebie of the Week:  iRewards

This is one seriously cool FREE SITE!

Software, Videos, DVDs, Music, Books, Games, Utilities ... and the list goes on! ALL FREE!

You pay the shipping and the goods are yours at no charge! Who could refuse high quality items at no cost? Click the link to pick out your own freebies: iRewards

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Weekly Time Waster:  Jump the Shark
Because life is supposed to be fun!

"Oh my God this website is obsessive ..."

That's how Betsy began her email to me about this issue's time waster. Her rave was so perfect, I'm letting her tell you about this site:

"It gets it's name from the episode of Happy Days where Fonzie jumps over a shark on his motorcycle. This episode is really 'the end of' the end of the series, and many other series also have a defining moment where the show takes a definite turn to cancellation territory. This website chronicles all of those 'moments.' I got totally lost in the site, looking up all my favorite childhood series."

Thank you Betsy! I couldn't have said it better. :-) 

Feed the kids first ...

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Featured Site of the Week:  U.S. Independence Day at Web Holidays 

For an in-depth view of the July 4th celebrations going on in the U.S., visit Web Holiday's U.S. Independence Day site. With history of the holiday information, super recipes to add flavor to your festivities, e-cards for your online American buddies and lots more fun and fireworks, you'll be captivated by the lovely graphics and spirit of Americana on these pages.

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Supporting the sponsors and advertisers in Rexanne's web review keeps this newsletter alive. Each advertiser has Rexanne's Seal of Approval! Please visit them today.

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Advertisement: Baby Songs
Baby Songs was chosen TV Guide's pick of best children's home video; People Magazine's pick for hot new music videos for tots: Siskel & Ebert gives them two thumbs up. They have won numerous Parent's 
Choice Awards. We are very proud that our videos appeal to both parents and children. Our goal is to make you smile! Visit us today for our July Christmas special!

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I have personally checked out the links provided here but they could possibly lead you to any number of bizarre and/or offensive sites. Surf at your own risk. The DIRECT links on this page are all family 
friendly unless stated otherwise. While this newsletter is family friendly, it is not necessarily intended to be read by children. Parents should always monitor their children while they are on the Internet. 

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