Rexanne's Web Review - Issue #53

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Rexanne's Web Review
Web Sites & Insights

Issue #53 - January 1, 2002

Brought to You By: Rexanne.com

If you find this newsletter helpful and interesting, please forward it to another parent and recommend they subscribe. Thank you!

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Welcome All Newcomers!

Happy 2002! Whooo Hoooo, bang the gong, shake your booty, rock and roll! Nope, haven't had too much champagne. :-) Just getting into the spirit of the holiday. I love New Year's Day. Today we take down the Christmas tree and reclaim our living room. JoJo, our naughty cat, will have to find another avenue to torment me!

Do check out the very cool Victory Bracelets - our sponsor for this month's newsletter. Great way to show your support for our men and women in the military. My daughters and I are wearing one. They're terrific and knowing a service person overseas is wearing one sent from our order makes us feel great! Think Valentine's Day presents. ;-)

A most interesting article was sent to me by I can't remember who ... sorry! Feel free to claim your discovery if I lose another part of my mind in this adventure. :-) The basics of the article are:

Reading to a dog (or any pet for that matter) is now being used as a program in some schools and libraries to help children who are having difficulty reading. There is no person standing over the child to correct mispronunciations, or any other error. Instead, there is a nonjudgmental dog giving the child its rapt attention.

I love the concept of this program. Go read to Fritz!

And for those who just can't wait to dip into the next holiday, here's a link to my Valentine's Day site:
Rexanne's Valentine

As always, full-service holiday pages filled with everything you'll need for a splendid love-filled VDAY. Enjoy and pass it on!

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Reader's Comments:

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Jennifer wrote:

"Just wanted to say thanks for your newsletter. I am sure it takes a great deal of time and effort and I don't want you to feel that your work is in vain! I especially like the cooking tips from Martha. What a blessing to this inept mom who desperately wants to do something right foodwise for my bunchkins!"

Awww Jennifer ... you made Martha and I beam! Thanks for writing!

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Martha found this terrific program:

Free Eyeglasses for Kids

The visual exam and spectacles are free. The only eligibility requirements are: A person in the household, not necessarily a parent, must be employed. No health insurance. The combined household income must be less than a fixed amount based on the number of people in the household. Click Here: Free Eyeglasses

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E. wrote a happy update to her head lice problem:

"I decided to go with the info from Headlice.org. I got the book recommended on that site, 'Head Lice to Dead Lice' by Joan Sawyer and Roberta Macphee. I would strongly recommend this book. It gives you an alternate plan (olive oil) instead of using chemicals and tells you exactly what you should and shouldn't bother cleaning in your home. (Did you know that the washing machine doesn't kill them, but the dryer does?) They claim that if you follow their regime for 21 days you will be cured and they are right. They also give some great advice on prevention. From now on whenever we go to a movie, we will put a raincoat or wind-breaker over the back of the seat before we sit down. Then shake it out when we leave (they can't hang on to anything slippery)."

Thanks for sharing these invaluable tips, Elaine.

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And Pam wrote:

"My beloved grandson, Joey, died one year ago today. He was three years old. Please read Joey's website. If I would have had this information three years ago, Joey would be alive. Through awareness we can save the vision and the lives of thousands of children each year."

Please visit Joey's web site to better prepare yourselves as parents for the potential problem of Retinoblastoma: Joey's Site

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OK, here's the scoop:

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Quote of the Day: A good holiday is one spent among people whose notions of time are vaguer than yours. - John B. Priestly

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This Month's Web Review is Sponsored By: Victory Bracelets

Support our troops in Operation Enduring Freedom.

The Victory Bracelets are attractive, unique and fun to wear. They also make great gifts! Easily adjustable to fit any wrist. Show your pride! Order one for a friend or loved one! 100% Satisfaction & Quality Guaranteed! With every order, you get 2 bracelets and a FREE Pewter American Eagle Pin. Order now:
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Special: With every order you place, we will send a free bracelet to an American soldier away from home.

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Parenting & Family Topic of the Month: Your Children Are a Reflection of You

By Michael Grose

Doubtless you've heard the old saying ‘leaders are born not made.’ This is a common response to describe a person with seemingly natural leadership qualities. Some kids are born with a greater predisposition for leadership just as some are born with a talent for art, an ear for music and a throwing arm that is a gift from the gods.

But God-given talent is nothing more than potential. It can be developed with practice and application or it can lay dormant and wither. The key to talent lies in its use. The same principal applies to a child's personality.

Just as natural talent is potential waiting to be developed, a child's personality is character waiting to be shaped by the human environment it comes into contact with. Put simply, a child is a reflection of the people in his environment that he values and cherishes. The most significant adults in a young child's environment are undoubtedly his parents and broader family, including siblings and grandparents. Study after study has shown that it is parents rather than teachers who are influential in shaping a child's sense of self. A child may spend half his waking time in school but it is parents who are critical in the healthy development of a child.

Children are reflections of their parents. We help shape children's values, their behaviors and also we mirror how they see themselves. This is not always obvious, as many children appear to be the complete opposite to their parents in every way. But the four stages of childhood are instructive to parents. "When children are young they adore their parents. When they move into primary school they accept them. When they become teenagers they judge them and when they become adults they become like them." It may not seem obvious at the time, but as the old saying goes ‘character, like good soup, is made at home.’

We all have our own ways of raising children but there are five keys to raising well-adjusted children who are capable (of reaching their full potential), caring (for others) and have a spirit of generosity (that enables them to become embedded in their community).

1. Dance with the differences: Many parents fight against the individual differences between their children rather than work with the differences. Genders affects, individual temperaments and also the place a child has in his family mean that one size in parenting doesn't fit all. To love your children the same it is imperative to treat them differently.

2. Develop the courage to be imperfect: It takes a great deal of courage for a child to reach out and truly develop his talents and gifts. Children are born with the courage to reach great heights but their environments can stifle their willingness to really strive or just not offer them the opportunities they need. The greatest impediment to children reaching their full potential (whatever that maybe) is the current focus that we place on mistakes and errors. We still live in a faultfinding society that values perfection and ignores the imperfect. Only when we give kids the space to make heaps of blunders and not have those blunders thrown in their faces will they forge a courageous character that says to hell with what others think, and if I fail ... so what?

3. Base discipline on consistency not severity: Just as children need psychologically safe environments for their development, they also need physically safe environment. Discipline needs to be based on the principal of consistency rather than severity. Kids need limits and boundaries so they can safely develop. They also need to know something will happen to make them accountable if they break the rules or act in antisocial ways. Children like to know where they stand with adults so a consistent set of boundaries and a knowledge that adults will stick to those boundaries gives children a sense of security. It is also places them in control as they can predict how adults will react. Children will push their parental boundaries ... it is in their job prescription. So we parents need to have backbones and hold firm when children push the limits. We also need to do as we say we will when they are less than perfect, rather than threaten or use shame, guilt or other such tactics to bring them into line.

4. Develop independence early: It is a parent's task to work our way out of a job, or at least to work to a position where our role is that of a facilitator and guide. To develop independence we need to give children the opportunity to do things for themselves, teach them skills that are needed and to model resourcefulness and problem-solving ourselves.

5. Shape the attributes you value in children: We shape a child's character through recognition, affirmation and appreciation. Recognize with positive attention the social or desirable behaviors that children exhibit. Become an expert at catching them being good rather than bad. Affirm children when they display values such as honesty or persistence and show your appreciation when they display a spirit of generosity and sharing toward others.

Parents influence their children's behaviors and values either consciously or unconsciously. Like detectives children are observing their significant adults in their lives for clues about how they should think, feel and behave in every situation. So we may as well as model healthy behaviors and attitudes.

As we wrestle with the ethics of biological engineering it is easy to forget that the most significant engineering, that is, of a child's character, occurs not in the science lab but within the family home. It is parents not scientists who impact on the most profound ways on future generations of children. The key to a better future for children lies in better, more informed parenting rather than in the realms of science.

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For more great ideas by Michael Grose to help you raise happy, well-adjusted kids and young people visit Parenting Ideas or subscribe to the Happy Kids Newsletter by sending a blank email to: Subscribe

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Know of a good parenting or family site your fellow readers might enjoy? Please send it for possible publication in an upcoming issue. Click here: Parenting Site

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Food & Cooking Site of the Month: Teri's Recipes

From our Food & Cooking Editor, Martha Jones, AKA Queen Can-ivore:

Easy, easy all the way. Teri was one of my first links 300 years ago, can't remember now who found whom.

In the quick and easy section find selections from the main index that feature minimal preparation, cooking time is generally 30 to 45 minutes (but no more than one hour) and little supervision is required for many. Although the focus is on dinner entrees, some side dishes have been included. Lots of other ways to make life in the kitchen easier can be found on tips and time saver pages.

Check out a variety of menus for New Year's Eve and New Year's Day, "Tradition calls for eating certain foods which are thought to bring good luck for the upcoming year." Teri's Pennsylvania Dutch heritage dictates pork and sauerkraut, hubby's requires Southern black-eyed peas and cooked greens. As luck would have it, the flavors blend very well with the rest of the meal.

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Queen Can-ivore is also known as The Real Martha. Find her at TheRealMartha.com - real easy recipes for real busy, real people. Not for fans of the UnReal Martha.

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Bon Appetit!

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Kid's Site of the Month: YouthHealth.com

YouthHealth.com teaches kids all about their bodies, their health and various issues that are important to their overall well being. Stories and information are passed on to the children in the form of interactive games, a running animated cartoon series entitled Inner Explorers, featuring clever, cool characters and a nifty vehicle that travels inside the human body.

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Tip or Trick of the Month:

This great tip was sent it by Marilyn:

"When the fridge won't hold one more piece of art work, time to "take a picture of the fridge" and toss the originals. You won't feel as guilty. We have a bunch of pages in our photo album already filled with fridge pictures."

Great idea, Marilyn, thank you!

Got a tip or trick your fellow readers would enjoy or could use? Please send it here for possible publication in one of the next issues: Tips

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This Month's Time Waster: Sand Sculpture Photo Archive
Because life is supposed to be fun!

Sand Sculpture Photo Archive is an intense OOOO and AHHH site where you can look at sand sculptures worthy of being labeled "art." Amazing what these sand sculptors do with a beach at their disposal! Grouped into categories, click on any group to see the various sand creations pertaining to that subject. They are all amazing.

Feed the kids first ...

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Featured Site of the Month: Be a Kid Again!

I love this page! Never mind that I already do quite a few of the things on this page daily ... it made me smile a lot. :-) Happy to know I'm really just a kid at heart. Might be crumbling on the outer edges but give me a puddle and I'm all over it! LOL! Read through the list of things to do to "be a kid again" then go out and do at least five. You'll feel great. Bring the kids!

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Supporting the sponsors and advertisers in Rexanne's web review keeps this newsletter alive. Each advertiser has Rexanne's Seal of Approval! Please visit them today.

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