Rexanne's Web Review - Issue #66

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Rexanne's Web Review
Web Sites & Insights

Issue #66 - March 1, 2003

Brought to You By: Rexanne.com

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Welcome All Newcomers!

Yeah, yeah ... I'm still seeing "him." LOL! Boy, you should all be as involved in your children's lives as you are in my love life! ;-) I'm very flattered that you all care, actually. And so many of you wrote to wish my younger daughter a happy birthday ... thank you!

Readers in the USA: catch the new SitCom, On The Spot, airing March 6 on the WB Network. A friend of mine is the verrrrry cute bass player in the house band ... look for "the hat." And I DO expect you to let me know you watched and saw him! ;-) If you like the show, watch it again the following week ... I'm in the audience, wearing an orange sweater and generally looking like I'd rather be anywhere else. Brutal!

We received loads of feedback about the dating with kids issue. Find some of it in Reader's Comments below.

Hey, we have a break between holidays! Can we survive without a celebration for more than a month? For those of you who want Easter to be here early this year, here's a link to my Easter site: Rexanne's Easter

Don't miss the wonderful article, Brag Anyway, by Dave Kurtz in the Parenting Topic of the Month. It'll make you smile. :-)

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Reader's Comments:

Janice wrote about our topic of last week, Dating with Kids:

"I have been dating since my son was four months old. It's never easy but I try not to introduce a man to my son unless I've dated him more than a few times. My son is now seven years-old and has had a few "Daddies" already, but he never knew who his real daddy was anyway. Your article made a lot of sense to me. Thank you."

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Dina wrote:

"Your article, Dating with Kids, was an eye opener. Not only did I bring too many men into my children's lives, I let one man live with me after only knowing him a month. He ended up stealing from me and beat up my 11 year-old son when he tried to stop him. Now I don't ever let a man know where I live until I am sure I can trust him. My son still hates every man I date. It's so sad."

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And Dennis wrote:

OK, here's the scoop:

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Quote of the Month: Without promotion, something terrible happens ... nothing! - P.T. Barnum

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Supporting the sponsors and advertisers in Rexanne's Web Review keeps this newsletter alive. Each advertiser has Rexanne's Seal of Approval. Please visit them today.

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Parenting & Family Topic of the Month: Brag Anyway

By Dave Kurtz

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My job here is nearly over.

Our youngest son turned 18 last week.

That's three boys raised to adulthood, half a dozen trips to the emergency room, one car totaled, no felonies. Twenty-seven years I wouldn't trade for $27 million.

What would you like to know from someone who survived all this?

Let's start at the beginning: be firm early and you won't have to be firm (or sorry) later. No two kids are alike. Our most easygoing son left us totally unprepared for the next one. Thank goodness for Dr. James Dobson's priceless book, The Strong-Willed Child. Dobson convinced me to become a "brick wall" that my kid would run up against every time he crossed the line. The little snot put a few dents in that wall, but it held.

Parents of easy-going children can't imagine what it's like to battle a strong-willed child. When you're at war with a pocket monster, sometimes you can't help looking a little silly. I used to lie on top of one kid during his tantrums. It was the only way to make him stop hitting and kicking without hitting him back.

Backing the authorities is good. But stick up for your own kid if you think he's right. When the school didn't protect one of our boys from bullies, he had to protect himself. He got in trouble for winning a couple of fights ... a little too convincingly. This came as a shock to a mild-mannered dad. But we knew our kid didn't start these brawls. We defended him in the principal's office, and even though he had to serve some detention, it was worth it. The bullies wised up and he never had to fight again. When another of our boys was the smallest
kid in his second-grade class, karate lessons helped. He only had to protect himself once or twice after the word got around. He learned a lot of self-confidence and discipline in the process.

Go ahead. Spend a little money. Buying a quality drum set for Christmas one year seemed like an extravagance - the biggest present we ever bought for any child. Five years and an armful of music awards
later, it's turned out to be the best money I've ever spent.

Be willing to change your mind. I'd always scorned the idea of financial rewards for good grades. But by the eighth grade with one of the boys, I was desperate. Paying for A's and B's became the second-best money I've ever spent. Grown-ups work harder to earn bonuses. Why should kids be any different? Eventually, he didn't need money to motivate him to study. But I kept paying anyway. A deal is a deal. When he started coming home with all A's, report-card day became a joy to my soul and a disaster for my wallet.

Coach your kid's sports team. Never mind that you don't know a soccer ball from a pumpkin. You can learn. Keep your perspective. Only a couple of kids on your team will ever become varsity athletes in the sport you're coaching at the moment. They might not be the ones you expect. And they'll never remember how many games they won in fifth grade.

Try to do some big, special things with your kid. However, it's more important to do little things. Schedule a time every week to go to dinner. He'll pick a fast-food joint with plastic hamburgers. Don't worry if those meals are filled with yep-nope answers and awkward silences. He'll talk someday.

Every kid will have one horrendously bad hair year, and the earlier in life, the better. Someday, his mirror will work properly and he'll see how stupid it looks. Keep your mouth shut, take lots of photographs and laugh about it later.

Never underestimate the value of a good girlfriend. When my sons were out with the boys, I always worried that one of their buddies would be driving too fast, or drinking, or both. A good girlfriend won't put up with that kind of nonsense. Only one thing can go really, really wrong when your son is out with his girlfriend - and it never did. I guess a good girlfriend won't stand for that, either. As a bonus, your son will start brushing his teeth and using deodorant. The safe, secure feeling when my sons were out with their girlfriends came as a
marvelous surprise. My own experience with girlfriends of any kind in High School was zilch, zero, nada.

What if your son is underachieving? A wise and successful father once counseled me: be patient. Remember, it's your son's life, not yours. You might have given your left ear to have his throwing arm, but maybe he doesn't want to be a baseball player. Encourage him to do what he really likes. He'll be one of the best. You'll learn to love it.

Be careful not to brag on your kid too much. It could come back to bite you. Brag anyway.

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For the past 27 years, Dave has lived in Auburn, Indiana, with his wife, Betsy, and is the managing editor of The Evening Star daily newspaper. You can email him by clicking here: dkurtz@kpcnews.net

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Know of a good parenting or family site your fellow readers might enjoy? Please send it for possible publication in an upcoming issue. Click here: Parenting Site

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Food & Cooking Site of the Month: Meals.com

From our Food & Cooking Editor, Martha Jones, AKA Queen Can-ivore:

Nestle sponsors the site featuring more than 15,000 recipes, "Meal planning made easy." Go immediately to Quick and Easy, find Hot Apple Pie Sandwiches - OMG.

Frozen Stouffer's goodies as main ingredients grabbed me right away. Apples for the above, mac and cheese for a layered casserole happened to be the first hits. Reader ratings also suggest interesting variations. Check out sign-in options - "Add me" to: grocery list, recipe box and meal plans.

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Queen Can-ivore is also known as The Real Martha. Find her at: The Real Martha - real easy
recipes for real busy, real people. Not for fans of the UnReal Martha.

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Bon Appetit!

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Kid's Site of the Month: Imagination at Work

General Electric created this terrific little site where kids (and adults who like to play) can create an online masterpiece and send it to anyone with an email address. The best part? The recipient gets to watch the masterpiece unfold as it was created, stroke by stroke.

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Freebie of the Month: 100% Free DVDs

Wow - this is one great freebie. Easily sign up with just your email address, browse their sponsor offers and start earning points toward absolutely free DVDs today. No shipping or handling charges, either! You could generate enough points in ten minutes to qualify for any DVD you want. Very cool offer and a win/win situation for everyone. I like this one! :-)

Click here to start building your DVD library now: Free DVDs!

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Advertisement: Parenting Secrets by Mother of Five

Transforms your kids into responsible young people who mind well, show respect, and do their chores cheerfully and willingly without pushing and prodding. Even doing more than their share! Makes growing up
easier for them and parenting easier for you.

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Tip or Trick of the Month: Lunch & Milk Money Management

Michelle sent in this terrific tip:

"If the kids buy lunch or even just milk at school, organize envelopes with the correct amount of money for each child for each day of the week. Do this on a Saturday to avoid scrambling during the week for the right amount of change or fill the envelopes and put them in their back pack each night."

Thank you, Michelle!

Have a tip or trick your fellow readers would enjoy or could use? Please send it here for possible publication in one of the next issues: Tips

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Time Waster of the Month: 60s Cruisin' Tunes
Because life is supposed to be fun!

Grab your poodle skirts and pump the kids up ... we're gonna dance to the oldies and have some fun!

60s Cruisin Tunes comes to us courtesy of the Central Oklahoma Classic Chevy Club, which has compiled some of the best and most popular songs from the era. Click on your favorite, or, if you're too young to
remember any of these, just click on any song and be transported back in time. Get out of that chair and boogie! ;-)

Feed the kids first ...

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Featured Site of the Month: Dirty Baby

This page might be considered a lil' "off color" to some, however, it will be considered pretty cute and bring a smile to most. It's all about pop music and a baby needing a diaper change. ;-)

The page takes quite awhile to load ... give it a few minutes.

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