Spotlight on: Thanksgiving

Rexanne's Web Review 
Web Sites & Insights

Issue #73 - November 1, 2003 

Brought to You By: Rexanne.com

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Welcome All Newcomers! 

Wow ... Halloween was a blast here. Did you all survive the onslaught of trick-or-treaters? Did your kids have fun? Do you wonder what on earth I'm carrying on about? If so, you are one of our many 
non-American readers. :-) Halloween, celebrated on October 31 each year, is a huge ritual in the United States and a lot of fun for the kids. 

This month, America celebrates Thanksgiving Day on November 27. It is our day to give thanks for all we have and basically to instill some form of gratitude into our kids. ;-) Nah, seriously, it is the day we give thanks for our many blessings and have a big turkey dinner with special trimmings. Have a cruise through my Thanksgiving page to see what all the hoopla is about. My American readers will find plenty to be thankful for: food & cooking links, tips, tricks, kid links, Thanksgiving history, e-cards, graphics and lots of other goodies to help make the holiday perfect: Rexanne's Thanksgiving

Need Thanksgiving table decor, accessories, stuff? Find everything you need at my Thanksgiving Party store:
Rexanne's Thanksgiving Party Store

And Mickey Mouse celebrates his 75th birthday on November 18. There's another reason to celebrate. ;-)

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Reader's Comments:

Lisa wrote:

"Thanks for all the wonderful info you continue to share in your newsletters."

You are very welcome, Lisa. :-) 


OK, here's the scoop:

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Quote of the Month: Today I bent the truth to be kind, and I have no regret, for I am far surer of what is kind than I am of what is true. - Robert Brault

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Supporting the sponsors and advertisers in Rexanne's Web Review keeps this newsletter alive. Each advertiser has Rexanne's Seal of Approval. Please visit them today.

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This Month's Web Review Sponsored By:  Brylane Kitchen & Home

Find everything you will need for the coming holidays at Brylane Kitchens & Home: tabletop, glassware, cookware, bakeware, gadgets & tools. Brylane helps you create a beautiful holiday table and will fill your home with the distinct touch of the season. 

You can shop Brylane Kitchen & Home online or request a catalog for browsing in the comfort of your favorite arm chair. Brylane brings you all the home and kitchen splendor and practicality you are looking for this holiday season. Click here:  Brylane Kitchen & Home

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Parenting & Family Topic of the Month:  Never Hit A Child

My longtime readers know I do not believe in spanking or physically hurting children in any way. I am grateful to Dr. Michael Bradley for his wonderful article on the subject. Although I am aware that a good percentage of you do believe in spanking, please read what Dr. Bradley has to say. It might help you understand why I feel the way I do. 

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A Personal Argument Against Ever Hitting A Child 
By Dr. Michael Bradley


Our family was at the seashore for a week of relaxation this past summer, at a place famous for being great for kids. I was taking in the beautiful scene around me as I sat sipping my coffee in the sun-filled hotel lobby. The place was filled with laughing and excited children, noisily running around. For some reason I tuned into an exchange to my left just as a mother interrupted a conversation between her eight year-old daughter Mandy and the daughter's friend. The daughter calmly interrupted back saying, "Mom, I was talking to her." 
Without a word, mom wheeled around and slapped her daughter's face. The crack sound made me jump, and the whole lobby fell into silence, all eyes turning to see what had happened.

Mandy's soft blue eyes were suddenly contrasted by a blazing red mark on her cheek. She looked as shocked as I felt, completely at a loss to understand why her mother did this. At first, she seemed to search for some rational explanation, thinking perhaps her mother had misheard what she said. In a voice shaking and tight from fighting tears, she murmured, "Mom, I was only trying to tell you that we were talking and ..." 

"I know what you were trying to say, her mother sneered, "and now maybe you'll think twice before you ever try to tell me that again!" Mom towered furiously over Mandy's face, as if daring her to do or say anything. When her daughter's tear-filled, terrified eyes dropped to the floor, mom stalked away.

Most Americans favor corporal punishment for kids. In fact, almost half of us approve of corporal punishment in our schools. National columnists frequently write stories attributing the problems of our kids to the refusal of many parents to hit children. An amazing and dangerous myth has evolved in America, which says that non-violent parenting is weak parenting. The scientific fact is that as a technique of discipline, hitting kids is at best a waste of parenting time. And at worst it can do terrible damage to that parent/child bond 
that keeps our kids alive and sane. Smacking little people seems to work great for a while, but eventually those chickens come home to roost. Kids feel violated and threatened when they get assaulted, just like the rest of us. They conform to a demand to avoid further pain, just like the rest of us. And just like the rest of us, when they're smacked around they learn nothing about why they should behave in a certain manner. When hit, kids only learn to behave when the enforcer is around. They learn nothing good. And they can learn a lot of bad.

As mom stormed away, Mandy's eyes lifted off the floor to watch the most powerful person in her life disappear through a door. I watched Mandy's face morph through an incredible series of changes. First, her 
tears of fear quickly moved to tears of hurt and betrayal. As she rubbed her cheek you could see her eyes chasing after her mother, begging, "Why? Why do you do this to me? Am I a bad person? Can't you see I'm trying? Why do you hate me so much?" Then, getting no answers to her unasked questions, Mandy's pain quickly grew into anger. Her pain and vulnerability evaporated, replaced now by a chin trembling with fury. With two clenched fists, she slowly rose up out of her chair as if to go attack her mother. Then she froze, realizing the probable outcome of such an engagement at age eight. As she sank back down into her chair, you could almost hear the oaths being sworn in her head, promises of future revenge with interest due, payable in eight years or so when her height and weight make her a viable contender for the inevitable rematch with mom.

Five minutes earlier that face had been so beautifully soft, open, and happy. Now it stared at the door with the icy resolve of a gangster. The pain and fear were gone, buried deep beneath a quiet, smoldering, 
inextinguishable rage that seemed apparent even to her friends who slowly edged away.

"I'll be seeing you, Mandy" I thought sadly to myself. "I'll see you in eight years when you're self-destructing in some insane tornado of drugs, sex, and violence. I'll see you when your mother drops you off at my door, completely amazed at how 'crazy' you've become, demanding an explanation of how you got to be so nuts. I'll do the best I can to help you, but then I'll never be able to give you what you really needed: a mom who eight years earlier sighed, apologized for interrupting you, and then waited patiently to ask her question. A mom who taught discipline with modeling, not manhandling. A mom who knew respect to be a thing you first give, and only then hope for in return.

"I'm so sorry, Mandy," I thought. As if she heard my words, Mandy turned to look at me. I gave her a sad half-smile, awkwardly trying to convey so many feelings in one look. She just stared that same icy stare. In her eyes, I was one of the enemy.

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Dr. Bradley is a psychologist in suburban Philadelphia. The new paperback edition of his award-winning book, 'Yes, Your Teen is Crazy: Loving Your Kid Without Losing Your Mind'  is available through his web site and at bookstores everywhere. And a new book for teenagers, 'Yes, Your Parents Are Crazy!,' will be released in September, 2004. Visit Dr. Bradley here: Yes, Your Teen is Crazy.

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Know of a good parenting or family site your fellow readers might enjoy? Please send it for possible publication in an upcoming issue. Click here: Parenting_Site

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Food & Cooking Site of the Month: Native American Foods

Want to wow 'em this year at the Thanksgiving table with authentic Native American cuisine? You could add a few of these recipes to your traditional Thanksgiving dinner or create a feast using recipes exclusively from this site if you can find deer meat. ;-) Some of the recipes on Native American Foods sound absolutely yummy. You'll also find links to herbal remedies used by Native Americans for centuries and chocolate recipes to add to your dessert repertoire. 

Bon Appetit!

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Advertisement: E-Cookbooks Library

Get more than 100 cookbooks for one low price and nothing else to purchase. Unlike millions of plain old recipe sites, you can download entire cookbooks with just one click on E-Cooks Library. This offer must be seen to be believed ... click here now to see all the cookbooks and specials offered now: E-Cookbooks Library

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Kid's Site of the Month:  Light Up Your Brain

This site has so many great activities for kids. Online stories, complete with narrative sound; an amazing array of games that are both fun and educational; music by various artists who write songs just for children; super animal coloring pages and a lot more to keep the kids happy on the computer.

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Freebie of the Month:  Thanksgiving Checklist, Printable TDAY Cards 

Thanksgiving Checklist:

Here's a perfectly handy one-page Thanksgiving checklist from FamilyFun that will have you wondering how you ever lived without it: Thanksgiving Checklist

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Printable Thanksgiving Day Cards:

These are some very cute Thanksgiving cards with matching printable envelopes that you or the kids can print out and send: Thanksgiving Day Cards & Envelopes

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Advertisement: Nick Zone

Get ready to read action-packed books starring SpongeBob and many other hilarious Nickelodeon characters in Nick Zone, a brand-new book club from Scholastic. Get 3 free Nick Zone chapter books and 20 other free gifts, including an eight piece SpongeBob figurine collection for your child, all absolutely FREE when you join.

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Tip or Trick of the Month: How to Make Perfect Gravy 

I know how hard it is to make perfect gravy. It took me many years of trial and error before my mother-in-law showed me how to do it right. Even then, I modified her recipe and my gravy is perfect every time. I'll share my secret with you right here ... you're welcome! ;-) 

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Have a tip or trick your fellow readers would enjoy or could use? Please send it here for possible publication in one of the next issues: Tips 

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Time Waster of the Month:  Merriam-Webster Word Games
Because life is supposed to be fun!

Yep, the dictionary people ... play the game of the day or visit the archives at Merriam-Webster Word Games and play hundreds of fun, mind-challenging games that make you think. This does wonders for the  brain cells ... keeps them active and involved in your life. ;-)

Feed the kids first ...

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Featured Site of the Month: Thanksgiving Gracious Graces

Are you stumped when asked to say grace at the Thanksgiving table? I certainly am. Or would you like to find a new, touching or inspiring grace to bestow upon your guests, friends and family? You'll find enough Thanksgiving graces on this page to help you out or to add to your current speech.

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Advertisement: The Nickelodeon Store

This holiday season, shop Nick. The Nickelodeon Store has all your kid's favorite Nick character merchandise, clothing, videos, room decorations and fun stuff. Rug Rats, Blue's Clues, Bob the Builder, SpongeBob, Dora the Explorer, etc. Make the Yule tide bright with a gift from Nick.

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