Spotlight on: Thanksgiving

Rexanne's Web Review
Web Sites & Insights

Issue #95 - January 1, 2006

Brought to You By: Rexanne.com

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Welcome all newcomers and faithful readers!

Hope you all had a perfectly wonderful holiday. We had a great Christmas and spent time with family and friends who we love dearly. All in all, it could have lasted another month. Happy New Year!  This has been a year of trials and triumphs for many of us. I wish you all the very best 2006 imaginable with many more triumphs than trials!

For those who can't wait for the next holiday, this is the link to my Valentine's Day site to get you going in the right direction: Rexanne's Valentine

Remember, romance isn't only for men and women ... children love romance, too. Parents can teach their kids a lot about romance by making Valentine's Day special for them and showing by example how to treat a loved one on this day that honors love and romance.

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--- Reader's Comments:
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Jeanne wrote:

"Your article about Santa Claus last month left me in tears. My oldest son just stopped believing in Santa this year, too and it would have ruined my Christmas had I not read your article about Santa Claus. Thank you for all you do!"

You're very welcome,Jeanne. Thank you for writing!

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Sam wrote:

'Your touches of humor help make parenting less of a chore. I find myself smiling after reading one of your newsletters, sometimes throughout the day, remembering something you said."

Sam, your words are very much appreciated. I believe strongly that without humor, we'd be a sad race of people. It's gives me great pleasure to know I put a smile on your face. Thanks for writing! :-)

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OK, here's the scoop:

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Quote of the Month: There are in nature neither rewards nor punishments, there are consequences. - Robert Ingersoll

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Supporting the sponsors and advertisers in Rexanne's Web Review keeps this newsletter alive and a portion of revenue is donated to various charities. Each advertiser has Rexanne's Seal of Approval. Please visit them today.

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This Month's Web Review Sponsored By: Get Organized

It's a new year and it's time to organize our lives. I will be finding ways to organize piles of stuff in every room this month. I've decided that clutter leads to insanity. LOL - When we have the right means to organize our family's lives, things seem to get put away instead of being left in the common areas of our homes, creating a mess and thus, insanity.

Get Organized has hundreds of great products to help you help your family be easily organized, simplify everyday tasks and to help keep your home clutter free.

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Parenting & Family Topic of the Month: Consequences

The Truth About Consequences
By Hal Edward Runkel

As parents, we have within our reach the greatest and most effective disciplinary strategy in the world. No, it’s not military school or “Brat Camp”. The single greatest teaching and discipline strategy is a phenomenon woven into the fabric of life itself.

Simply put, here it is: our choices have consequences. Every single one of them.

There is a law of sowing and reaping that, when we think about it, has taught us more than any lecture, textbook, or sermon. Whenever we are able to calmly reflect on our experience, including our mistakes, then we begin to own our choices and become healthier, more self-directed people.

But when it comes to our parenting, we don’t like to watch our children make mistakes. And we don’t like having to take the time and energy to enforce the consequences of those mistakes. So instead, we scream. We threaten. We hope it “works,” meaning we hope our screaming forces them to behave the way we need them to. When it doesn’t, we scream some more—and then our screaming becomes the consequence itself. This isn’t working and everyone knows it. No one is learning anything here, but what else can we do?

We can let the consequences do the screaming. We can learn to get our emotional anxiety out of the way and let the consequences do their job. So how do we do that? We learn to calm ourselves down. But before we do that, we must actively become interested in calming ourselves down, instead of focusing on getting our children to never make mistakes.

Here are some principles to follow when deciding to “let the consequences do the screaming”:

1. Don’t Ever Set a Consequence That Is Tougher For You To Enforce Than It is For Them to Endure. How serious can you possibly be by grounding your teen-age daughter for a month? Are you crazy? Do you really think it’s possible to baby-sit her that long? When we overextend ourselves, it becomes that much easier to cave in when the emotional pressure hits. And thus, we break our promises and teach our kids not to trust our word.

2. There Are No Shortcuts To Setting Or Enforcing Consequences. Providing consistent discipline for our children is always time-consuming, sometimes exhausting, and never done from afar. That’s right; it’s supposed to be difficult. Reflect on the times when you have been consistent, when you have followed through. I guarantee you’ve been able to do it more than you think you have. Keep it going.

3. There Is No Magic Consequence, Guaranteed to Correct Your Child’s Behavior From Now On. So often we find ourselves searching for the magic pill, that one consequence that will make our kids feel remorse, make our kids change their behavior, and make our kids never do it again. The trouble is that the more we need the consequence to “work” like that, the more we invite our child to resist its effects altogether. The power of consequences is not found in short-term compliance, it is found in demonstrating consistently over the long-term that our choices have results.

After you take PlayStation away, your son may say “Fine, I don’t care.” This is his effort to show that you haven’t gotten to him emotionally. Here’s a great response: “I don’t care that you don’t care. That’s not why I’m taking it away. I’m taking it away because of the choice you made to break curfew (or whatever infraction he committed).” Don’t set the consequence to prevent him from doing it again (he will). Set it so that a) you have something to do other than scream again; and b) he will learn to trust your word and learn about the law of sowing and reaping.

4. Only Choose Consequences You Are Willing To Endure Yourself. This may be the toughest principle for us as parents. We cannot expect our kids to handle the consequences of their choices any better than we do. So often we anxiously want our kids to learn lessons we have yet to master. Welcoming consequences into your home means welcoming them for yourself, and even letting your kids watch. Take your kids to traffic court and let them watch you take your medicine from the judge. I promise it becomes easier to enforce consequences when you yourself know how beneficial they can be for your own growth.

Find more information about Scream free living: Scream Free Living

Many thanks to reader, Austin, for sending the link to ScreamFree!

Know of a good parenting or family site your fellow readers might enjoy or do you have a topic you'd like to see covered in this section? Please send your ideas in for possible publication in an upcoming issue: Parenting Site

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Food & Cooking Site of the Month: Chef Mom

Chef Mom offers plenty of recipes cooking help and inspiration in an easy to find categorized format with categories from appetizers to beverages. The section "Just for Kids" is a good place to find recipes children can easily make and to teach them the basics of cooking, including recipes for Easy Bake ovens.

Bon Appetit!

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Advertisement: Customized Classics

One of my top picks for a unique and great Valentine's Day gift this year is a customized classic book, starring the person or people of your choice. Customized Classics takes a classic literature story (Romeo & Juliet, Alice in Wonderland, Robin Hood, etc.) and transforms the book by personalizing it with any person's name and picture. These are also a perfect wedding or anniversary gift. So fun to give, more fun to receive! These customized classic books should be ordered soon for guaranteed delivery before Valentine's Day.

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Kid's Site of the Month: Kid's Kackles

Get the kids giggling with silly jokes they'll love. Kid Kackles offers one-liners and jokes submitted by children for children. Kids can submit their favorite jokes, too.

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Freebie of the Month: Remember the Milk

Remember The Milk is an easy way to manage your to-do lists online. You no longer have to write your to-do lists on sticky notes, whiteboards, random scraps of paper, or the back of your hand. Easily and efficiently manage all your task
lists online:

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Advertisement: Super Healthy Kids

'Healthy Child' is a ground-breaking new report that provides valuable information on boosting your child's immune system to prevent disease and illness. Filled with good and sound advice, you will learn how to maintain your family's well-being and understand how to keep the immune system strong and able to fight disease and common ailments:

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Tip or Trick of the Month: What Not to Burn

Colored paper, such as the comic section of your newspaper, contains chemicals that should not be burned in your fireplace. These chemicals emit toxins into the air that are potentially harmful. Use only non-colored paper for kindling and refrain from tossing any colored paper from newspapers, magazines or advertisements into the fireplace.

Have a tip or trick your fellow readers would enjoy or could use? Please send it in for possible publication in one of the next issues: Tips

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Time Waster of the Month: Real Arcade Game Pass
(Because life is supposed to be fun!)

Play Sudoku, puzzle, jigsaw, word and card games at the newest online arcade with a free 30 day trial game pass with no commitments and you can cancel at any time. Play and join the fun, with more than 450 popular game titles to choose from and new games are added every month. As a GamePass member you get a game credit every month and own your favorite games.. Download the games immediately and own them forever:

Feed the kids first ...

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Featured Site of the Month: Academy of Achievement

Information in many formats on the brightest thinkers and those who have given our world some of the most extraordinary achievements in history.

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Advertisement: Rexanne's Party Store

All things party - decorations, table ware, party supplies for any type of party or celebration you're giving. Holiday party specials, party favors and more.
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